Tuesday, 13 June 2017


" If your relationship with yourself is pure love, your relationship with everything else will be pure love too." RLM

Absolutely everything that we experience externally is based on the awareness we have to our internal world, and more specifically our relationship with our self.

Every moment of everyday we are reacting to our life, which, as we get older seems to become more and more challenging, stressful and unhappy. But it doesn't have to be!!! It can become more relaxed, fun, peaceful and happy.

If we take an honest look into our own inner worlds. Look without judgement, but as an observer to what is, we will notice that the chaos we are living outside is a reflection of the chaos we are living inside of our souls.

Honesty is a very, very important value to adopt for ourselves in order to attain freedom and peace within. I personally don't think that we know the true meaning of adopting honesty in all aspects of our lives and most specifically with ourselves.

Nothing can change or shift when we are in denial and if we are not willing to acknowledge that we treat ourselves like shit, we are going to stay stuck in the shit storm of our life. Being in denial, is lying to our self. It is absolute dishonesty when you don't want to acknowledge your own souls needs.

A basic question which I always want someone to ask them self is, "Are you happy with your life?" 

When you answer be honest!! Do you enjoy your body, your work, your relationships, your responsibilities, your material circumstances? 

Do you know what makes you happy, but avoid doing any of it because you are too busy surviving from your day to day activities, which hold no joy for you. 

Are you either on autopilot and just do what you have to do without thought, but also without joy. Or you are resisting the life you have by finding endless misery in the circumstances you are experiencing.

In order for us to thrive as human beings we need to feel loved, valued and appreciated.

In order for us to shrivel and die inside we need to be ignored and made to feel insignificant by having our needs over looked and feel like we have no one who cares about us.

If you look at what we need to thrive and what kills us, can you honestly say that you love, appreciate and value yourself? Or do you overlook your needs, thereby making yourself insignificant and showing that you don't care about yourself?

So then answer this...What is your relationship with yourself?

If you start to take care of your self on a soul level, acknowledge and fulfill your needs, value yourself, appreciate yourself and care very, very deeply about your soul, you will start to transform.

You will transmute all lack of love, appreciation and value to abundant love, appreciation and value. If you love, appreciate and value yourself, you will love, appreciate and value all that life has to offer. You will love, appreciate and value other people. 

Transmuting the lack of love to an abundance of love will open up the well of compassion you have inside of yourself, for yourself and others.

So simple. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Do what makes you happy. Appreciate yourself. Value yourself. Be compassionate to yourself. 

Every box that you feel is not being ticked inside of yourself because of an external lack, such as feeling invisible and insignificant, is only an indication that you need to love the heck out of YOURSELF.

When we relate to ourselves with love and gentleness and compassion and appreciation, it transforms our outer world to one of enormous peace and joy, because we are fulfilled. 

We are truly fulfilled when we love ourselves. When you love yourself you have no need for anyone or anything to make you happy, because you are the one who makes you happy.

When you love yourself, you place your happiness in your own hands. When you love yourself you are completely in your personal power, you are an unshakable, grounded, solid being.

Being all of the above, you will only attract the things into your life which honor the sacred relationship that you have with yourself and therefore your external world we be as beautiful as the love you emanate from your soul.

With so much love

Saturday, 3 June 2017


" To be vulnerable takes more courage than to remain unheard, or remain unloving, or remain hiding behind the veil and not really living with all your heart." RLM

Being vulnerable is one of the scariest things for grownups to be. We seem to worry about all the what ifs and all the what could go wrong if we put ourselves out there and exposed our truth that is begging to come out.

We hide our feelings because we are afraid of looking foolish or being rejected. We don't take risks because we are afraid of not succeeding.

It seems mad to a person like me because we can't achieve anything if we are crippled by fear, and by not making ourselves vulnerable we will never know what is on the other side of our dreams, they will always just stay dreams. 

Stepping out of the comfort zone is the difference between finding out if the dreams in our minds and hearts can become a reality. It is only the ones who risk looking like a fool and are open to facing failure that make the difference in the world. It is sad that is the minority.

If you are a person who lives from the space of your head then you will find it hard and very very scary to jump into your heart space, because you are soothed by the protection that the ego gives you.

You like the what ifs that it tells you about. so that you can not take the risks and look like a fool or fail or get rejected. It is your comfort zone and being exposed feels awful to you.

How do you loose that fear? YOU JUST DO IT!!! 

Yup, it is that simple....you just step out of your comfort zone and do the complete opposite thing to what your ego is telling you to do.

That sounds mad right? How can you go against everything that you know and what feels right and safe? 

I say that you can do it because we have to...we have to take the fall into our hearts if we want to be truly happy...we have to be willing to retrain ourselves to make different scary choices until they become to easy and so comfortable and so much apart of you that you don't know how you ever lived without being vulnerable.

Being vulnerable means being you. It means being real and raw and honest about who and what you are at your core. It is about being real about what you are feeling and what you really want for yourself.

Whether that be a new job or the love of your life, or moving to the other side of the world, or stepping out of the norms of your family or friends or society or asking for help or admitting you were wrong and saying sorry. What ever it is that you are wanting to express about who you are and what you need to be really happy at your core.

Human beings will spend a life time with a partner and never have a fulfilled sex life because they are to afraid to tell their partner what they want...to afraid to be vulnerable in the most vulnerable space for two human beings...what will they think of you if you actually enjoy sex and enjoy the gift of your own body and the wonder and joy of intimacy with someone that you love.

Living a human life is a scary daunting thing or it is a beautiful magical gift. We have people that we may disappoint or we have people that may disappoint us. We have awesome ideas and dreams that we are to afraid to take further because we are to afraid to fail or have people judge us.

People are going to judge you. And I say.....SO WHAT!!! LET THEM JUDGE!! Other peoples opinions are just that and need have no bearing on you and who you are. Don't let someone elses fear stop you from being happy and real.

Isn't it so sad to think that most of us don't live our lives fully because we are so stuck behind fear and that fear is actually just a load of rubbish ideas that our egos tell us, it is just a made up load of crap in our minds. We pre decide the outcome and then never take the risks.

The rule of losing the fear of being vulnerable, is to be vulnerable...if you want to change the results of your life then you are going to have to change the way you do things. If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same results.

You are going to be scared in every moment when you are faced with the choice to be vulnerable, but to get over the fear you are going to have to teach yourself to act in spite of it. You will then break your pattern and your heart will eventually be the one that is doing the decision making and the fear will become less and less and less. 

Being vulnerable is the most courageous thing a human being can be. Being vulnerable is being authentic and it is being true to your heart.

Being vulnerable is for the strong, brave souls. Being vulnerable is about over coming fears and bearing your soul in spite of judgement and rejection and failure. It is about being strong in your truth and being in line with your authentic self and not stopping the flow of the Universe working through you. 

Vulnerability is one of the strongest traits of the human spirit. It is about breaking down walls around your hearts and your dreams and your souls longings. 

There is no rule that we are what we are. We can all choose something different for ourselves in any moment. We can become new and reborn in a new truth anytime we choose to do so. We just have to do it. 

With so much love

Saturday, 20 May 2017


"Your perception of me is a reflection or you, my reaction to you is an awareness of me" - UNKNOWN

How we view the world, is exactly that, it is our view. There are billions of people on this planet and each and every one of us has a different way of perceiving our reality. 

I believe we all live according to an individual truth because we process new information and experiences based on our unique understanding of our own reality. That personal reality is based on our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual opinions, experiences and information. 

I can look into a night sky and see infinity, and others can see only stars, or perhaps someone will only see darkness. Every pair of eyes will see it differently and not only see it differently but also understand and feel it differently. Some will see it with awe and humility and others with arrogance and fear. 

Inside each and every reality is a world and what we seem to always over look is that our worlds are not the same.

If you can put yourself into a personal relationship and think back on a time where your partner or anyone close really let you have it and gave you the worst opinion of yourself. (Not because you were an asshole, but because they were hurting and needed an outlet.) That opinion/perception that they shared of you is actually a reflection of them self. 

We only view and react to the world around us in the way that we see ourselves. This is a pretty scary thought and hopefully an awakening moment into our own behavior sometimes. It could be a very liberating thought though or even a relief to know why you are always seeing the good in people who consistently show you their dark side. Or it can give you a really strong ego reaction and resistance if you only see the bad in others.

So now knowing that and thinking back to how you reacted to someone freaking out at you, did you freak out and take it personally and try to defend yourself and explain yourself and have a desperate need for them to change their opinion/perception of you? 

Your reaction to them is an awareness of you. If you are grounded in your truth and centered in who you are, you are not going to take it personally or agree with anything that they have said, you simply won't take it on and you will know that it is only their perception and rather have compassion for them and see that their fight is not with you but with them self, then you are not going to react very much at all are you?

Not understanding that everything is perception is grounds to keep suffering and keep taking things personally and keep fighting back. So why not stop the fight?

What if everyone stopped taking things personally? What if everyone looked inside them self and stopped pushing blame onto everything outside of them self for any suffering that they are experiencing?

Try see others and yourself through eyes of love and compassion when someone else is not in their center, don't lower your vibration and play the game with them. Because it really is just a game. It is an ego push and pull game with each other and mostly with our self. 

Sometimes you will wax it and other times when your buttons are pushed you are going to react from the automatic programme you have had since childhood. But to either response you have, be mindful of how you feel after and then try be conscious the next time how you choose to react. 

Everything in this life is about you. The only way to heal your soul is to know your self and to master yourself. Once your relationship with yourself changes and heals, every relationship in your life will heal and change for the better. Life is to enjoy and be happy, so lets drop the drama!

With so much love

Friday, 5 May 2017


"If you find me not within you, you will never find me. For I have been with you from the beginning of me." RUMI

I have been guided to write this post on Twin Flames, it is not something that I would usually write about, but it definitely is a part of my work because the Twin Flame journey is all about soul healing, self mastery and service. 

What is a twin flame?
A twin flame is a twin soul. Legend has it that in the beginning of creation some souls volunteered to help save humanity. They volunteered to split themselves in two, and go into two separate bodies, one masculine and one feminine and when humanity was falling apart and in need of rescuing those now twin souls, would come together in order to be a very powerful healing force to raise the vibration of the planet.

They chose the path and do not meet their twin soul in every incarnation. It is said that only one incarnates at a time and the other is a spirit guide and they swap the role of human and spirit guide through many, many incarnations.

They meet in 3D only in their last or second last incarnation. They only meet because it is time for them to fulfill their divine purpose, to get to work on being an incredibly high vibration and spreading that vibration to heal others and the planet.

A twin flame is a lightworker. On their own they are powerful beings of light and healers. Together that power is not doubled but it is magnified to the amount of the depth of the twin flames connection, which is beyond a human comprehension. It is deep.

How do you know if you are a twin flame?
You will have had an extremely hard life, from childhood through to present. Chances are that you are an earth angel.  
You have learnt from life, not become bitter and twisted from it. You will have had a feeling in you from the time of early childhood that you have a twin out there. A complete stranger who will know you by just looking at you. (Yes it sounds weird, it all sounds weird actually, but it is what it is).

You have a radar that is always looking for the “one”, which is actually a radar looking for the twin. Chances are that you are interested in spirituality and drawn to personal growth.
I don’t actually think anyone knows that you are a twin flame until you learn that you are one through the experience of meeting your twin soul. It is kind of grey matter in your life and in the meeting of the twin all the grey becomes clear and it connects the dots and puts it all together for you.

How do you find your twin flame?
You don’t find your twin flame. You don’t search for a twin flame. You just meet. It is a divinely orchestrated plan, it is not some human romantic fantasy.

I think that the twin flame phenomena has been romanticized. It is something which is bringing in money for people and so they are riding it and preying on people desperate to find that one true love.

Yes it is a lovely notion to share a soul with another, but it is not about the romance. The twin flame connection is about personal healing, personal growth, personal transformation and awakening, then it is about service. This is such an important thing for people to know.

I believe that not everyone is a twin flame, no siree! The whole purpose of twin flames is to help heal the world and in order to do that you have to heal yourself first. In order to heal yourself, you have to be prepared to do a shit load of inner work, that is mostly shadow work, it is dark night of the soul stuff.

You have to have a very specific level of consciousness to be able to fulfill the purpose of being a twin flame. That being said, I think it is pretty obvious that very awakened souls and souls who are very open to awakening are the twin souls. Twin flames are not about falling in love and living happily ever after. It is a massive responsibility and an extremely hard journey.

Twin flames are here to serve humanity, not fulfill a need inside yourself to have a great love. Nothing about the connection is about yourself, in fact part of the “initiation” is losing your ego completely. (Although it is all about you, because you have heal and love yourself completely)

Twin flames can not come together in ego at all, 3D love is not a twin flame thing. It has to be an unconditional love of self and the other before it can be a union, and that is some serious soul work I am talking about here.

Statistically they say 1- 2% of the world's population is a twin flame, which is a lot of people considering how many people are on the planet. But it is a lot less than the romantic idea that we all have a twin flame.

So please people take all of the above into consideration before you fall in love with the romantic idea of being a twin flame. You could be missing out on the love you are meant to have, a nice soul mate connection. There is also plenty of growth and learning in those, but they are a walk in the park compared to the journey of the twin flames and mirror souls.

I have seen a lot of posts about twin flames shagging, it seems that the sexual connection is what people ride on, pardon the pun. The twin flame connection is about being a whole, healed human being who is capable of loving the entire universe and all of its inhabitants unconditionally. That is what it is about. It is not about having great sex and getting ego attached to another person who you can’t live without. IT IS ABOUT SERVICE!!!!!!

How do you know if you have met your twin flame?
You would not need to ask this question because you would know. There are a lot of similarities between twin flame experiences but ultimately when you can literally see your soul inside another person that is a pretty good indication.

That and many other things. The first contact is literally something out of a science fiction novel and you have to experience it to believe it. Twin flames generally have had a very similar life. Their life stories and experiences are like looking in a mirror.

You finish each others sentences, you have very similar tastes and preferences. Dreams that you are going to meet them is very common, (but at the time of the dreams you will have no clue that is what it is about.)

Chances are that you have just been introduced to the concept of twin flames by chance just before you meet.

Your radar to search for the one switches off after you meet. You just know that this human being is going to be in your life forever, not sure how or why, but you just know.

In fact you just know that you are what you are to each other. There is a feeling in the depth of your soul that you are finally home. Your whole life starts to make sense, like you can finally connect the dots.

You may have ascension symptoms, you can’t sleep after meeting, tingling over the head, ringing in the ears, burning in the heart chakra, crying often. Accelerated personal growth. The life lessons pour in. Overwhelming feeling of gratitude for the gift that has been given to you. Your psychic abilities awaken or are enhanced and develop deeper.

The initial meeting is absolutely magical. It really is like you have come home for the first time in your life. The comfort and ease is just amazing. When you away from each other you miss each other. Yes you miss a complete stranger. And somehow you just know that you absolutely love this human being and always have and always will…. And then a whole lot of other rather overwhelming things occur.

You become completely consumed with the other. To the point where you are no longer present in your life.There is an overwhelming energy in you that only seems to calm down if you are in each other's company, but when you separate this all consuming fire burns within you that you can’t seem to control.

The only solution seems to be to unplug from the other twin so that you can get some focus and be present in your life again. 9 times out of 10 twins meet but their life’s circumstances are not conducive to a relationship with the other. They are either in a relationship with someone else or live on separate sides of the world, or have some bizarre reasons why being together is impossible.

So when the overwhelm hits, the ego steps into the relationship and takes over and then the honeymoon ends very abruptly. Every possible fear or doubt or problem you can find with the connection you do.

And this is when you separate and then go and work out your shit. And then it becomes a dance. You are drawn to each other and you get the new lesson, then you separate again. And there is this bizarre attraction and repulsion that occurs, like magnets turning, drawn to each other, then pushed away from each other.

And so it continues until egos are dissolved completely and the deepest healing imaginable occurs in each individual twin.

Once complete healing has occurred for both twins, then union is the order of the day. Then the real work can start and the twin flames combined are a force of love and light to heal the world.

Bada bing bada boom…. Or not…

That ego dissolving work is one tough bitch I tell you. The separation even has a term, it’s called running. So the runner chaser dynamic is born.  

It is lifetimes of work that needs to happen there. It is a lifetime of being small and insignificant which needs to vanish. It is about finding a never ending well of love inside yourself which must overflow and pour endless, abundant, unconditional love onto the world.

That is a tough journey. A beautiful, rewarding journey for those brave enough to embark on it though.

Everything from the ego will keep the twins apart. And each twin is a mirror for the other. Just like all relationships I guess, but amplified.

“My perception of you is a reflection of me, my reaction to you is an awareness of me” sums it up very very well.

You will trigger every wound in each other for healing. It a most remarkable and very interesting and very painful thing. But you are only ever responsible for your part of the relationship.

The only thing that your twin is meant to do for you in this time is trigger healing. So with every pain you feel, you need to learn to surrender to it and be open to the lesson it is teaching you.

Be open to the healing that it is bringing and the release of old patterns and programmes. In every pain you need to honor your soul and learn to live from the heart. It is an ongoing lesson of surrender and self love.

The twin flame journey is a very hard one to get your head around. It has so much beautiful purpose, but the path there is radical.

Just by twin flames meeting the healing is activated, the Universe has put the two of you together to start putting its plan for you into action.

If you resist the path then your life becomes more chaotic that you can imagine. There will be one upset and hardship after the other until you take heed to the call of the Universe and start working on yourself and healing. Twin flames have a duty to perform and they have chosen this journey and to be of service, but that is easy to forget when you are living in a 3D body.

The whole life of twin flames is an initiation into what the Universe needs you to be and who you need to be in order to be the deepest, most powerful healer. Nothing that occurs in their lives is by accident or because they are victims of circumstance.

It is because they have needed to learn the lessons to be of service to others. They have need to experience things so that they can have compassion for others.

They have had to move beyond their pain and their darkness to live in their light and therefore be able to shine this light on others. They are here to be examples of unconditional love and forgiveness. The norms do not apply to these people they are the souls that overcome. They are the warriors of the soul.

I hope that this post is useful. If you have any questions or if I have not covered something you would like to know please leave comments below.

With so much love

Tuesday, 25 April 2017


" Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." - ARISTOTLE

Self awareness is an extremely broad topic, but in this post I am going to talk about the shadow work aspect of it. The getting to know all of you and accepting yourself in all of your entirety. 

It is impossible to change anything if you don't know what you are trying to change or don't want to believe that you have anything to change. 

If a person wants to grow, spiritually, emotionally and mentally, you have to be prepared to get to know yourself, really know yourself. We get so focused on our external circumstances, and become more and more frustrated when we don't see the results we want in our external reality, when in fact the only thing that we have complete power over is our internal world, and changing the inner world will get the outer results. This is the law of attraction, and self awareness is the key. The deeper you are prepared to dive into yourself, the deeper your healing and growth will be. The happier your life will be and the more fulfilled your life will be. Inner work is all about self awareness, and self awareness is all about self empowerment, and self mastery. Self mastery is all about authentic happiness and that is freedom from within. 

"When you know yourself you are empowered, when you accept yourself you are invincible"

The solution to nearly every issue in a persons life is self awareness. Self awareness lifts you from suffering and leads you to freedom. We fear so much as human beings, we really do operate from a space of fear above all else. We are afraid to fail, afraid to succeed, afraid to love, afraid not to be loved, afraid to be happy, afraid that being miserable is all there is to life. I believe the two biggest fears a human being holds are the fear of being wrong and the fear of not being liked.

This being said, I think it is these two fears that prevent people from owning their own shit and moving forward in their lives and up and out of misery and into abundant happiness and freedom from within. It is these two fears that stop people from diving into self awareness because you are going to have to get to know all parts of yourself, the good, the bad, the ugly and then fall in love with all of it and then learn that we are all fucking beautiful!!! Nothing to be scared of at all!!! BUT you are going to have to accept that you are perfectly imperfect and that it is absolutely ok and wonderful to be wrong, to have faults and weaknesses and even better yet, that knowing your faults and weaknesses make you more awesome and is actually a quality of enormous strength! 

The two hardest things for people to say are I am sorry and I am wrong. We fight so hard, (even if it is a lie) to be right and to believe that someone else thinks we are right too, even when we have been caught with our hand in the cookie jar. We will try and defend our actions to make ourselves right again. We defend, defend, defend, truth or not, something inside the human wants to be right and will rather hide from the truth and live a lie just to be 'right' in their ego. That creates such an enormous amount of stress!!! Imagine if we were able to own our own shit and just say sorry we were wrong? Can you imagine how much pressure that would take off of you not always having to be 'perfect', what utter relief!

What are we defending anyway? We are not fooling anyone but our selves, if you were a douche bag to someone and you had no reason to be, the person who was on the receiving end knows the truth, you just make yourself look like a bigger idiot by not being able to own your shit and say sorry. With self awareness comes vulnerability, and that too is a huge big fear zone for mere mortals. This is why people avoid getting to know themselves but this is also the reason why people can't move past their shit and keep repeating the same crappy cycles of misery in their lives. Nothing will change until you do. You can move planets and every circumstance under the sun but you are still dragging yourself with you and will therefore keep getting the same results. 

"Truth is not what you want it to be, it is what it is and you must bend to its power or live a lie." - MIYAMOTO MUSASHI

Be brave, be authentic, be vulnerable, be you!! When we drop the mask, we find peace and joy because we gain unconditional love and self acceptance; the fear and ego can melt away along with the judge in your mind. 

There is learning in every part of our experiences, but especially in the darkness, and it is on the shadows that you need to shine the light.

With so much love

Thursday, 23 March 2017


"Transformation happens on the other side of surrender."

Stress is such and ingrained part of our lives. It is like we don't function unless we are worrying about something. We never truly live, because we are so busy stressing over things. In life there will be troubles, that is a given, but how we deal with those troubles, that is a choice. 

I have always had a programme in me to attach myself to the outcome. It is an awful programme, it has not served me well in any way, shape or form, in fact it is massively stressful. My recent life's troubles has given me the absolute perfect opportunity to change this programme, because it has given me so much attachment to outcome. The Universe will keep giving you the same situations until you learn your lesson. 

My first reaction to all the stress, was to stress, just like I have always done. I had so much anxiety and fear over what is going to happen that I was actually crippled by trying to control the outcome and analyzing every possible option to get out of the predicament, (which by the way is way beyond my control, but I was trying with all of my might to control it). Then I had a realisation, the outcome will be what it is, with or without my stress. Sure, action needs to be taken, which obviously it will be, but is it really necessary to stress every single step of the way? This can be simple, I don't need to complicate this, this is an opportunity to put new programming in place and go with the flow, let go and let God. I was so aware of how uncomfortable the stress made me, that I realised that the only thing that was giving it life and feeding it, was me, with my thoughts and worry. 

I then chose a new path...I surrendered....I surrendered to every bit of stress in my body. I surrendered to every emotion I was feeling, I surrendered to every circumstance that is beyond my control. I surrendered to the reality that I had created in my mind. I surrendered to God, and I said you know what you are doing, so you can do it. For once I don't need to obsessively know the details in between, the how and the when. Everything is going to be ok. I let go of the reigns. I well and truly surrendered. 

What has the gift of that been? I have been calm and myself, (most of the time). I have enjoyed each day as it has come. I have been able to get a hold of myself and eat to support myself not abuse myself, (I believe comfort eating on junk food is self abuse and debilitating, it makes me completely none productive, and in the beginning of this stress that is where I ran, to old habits of self comfort). It has allowed me to walk my talk. It has allowed me to be compassionate to myself and think clearly. It has allowed me to get my day to day activities done, and still be present for friends who have needed my support. It has helped me to find new and powerful ways to nurture my well being. 

Surrender is not something that just happens and stays there, it is an on going life practice, a moment to moment awareness and an on going opportunity to choose the path of least resistance. Surrender is an acceptance of what is and the faith to know that everything will be ok. Surrender allows you to be happy, when the ego is telling you that all the odds are stacked against you, surrender gives you peace of mind and even a very healthy I don't give a fuck attitude.

When life pushes you out of your comfort zone, you have choices...You can resist it and fight it with all your might, stress about it, try and control the outcome and be completely miserable. Or you can surrender to it, go with the flow, trust that everything is happening for your higher good and that everything will be ok and that the Universe has your back.

With so much love

Monday, 13 March 2017


" Everyone feels like a winner when effective communication is the order of the day!" RLM

Effective communication could be the single most important thing that we can implement into our lives. Every single thing that we do relies on communication. Whether it be at home in our personal relationships with our partners and children or socially with friends and acquaintances or in the work place with colleagues, bosses and staff or just with every day life when shopping, driving or banking. We communicate constantly, whether we realise it or not. We are communicating with ourselves, our God and every single person we come into contact with. Yet somehow we are the least equipped in this vital skill as to how to create a win win scenario at all times. 

When we can understand that every single thing is about communication, even in the silence there is communication. By choosing to say nothing you are also sending a message. By being angry you are sending a message. By being ungrateful and rude you are sending a message. Nothing that we do is not communicating. If we start becoming aware of our own very unique, individual message that we are putting out there, we can start adjusting and changing our part of the communication and start taking responsibility to have deeper more meaningful relationships with loved ones and authentic interactions with colleagues and even strangers.There are guide lines to follow in order to be an effective communicator. The benefits of implementing this into your life is happiness, compassion, non judgement and ultimately freedom from within. 

Effective communication can be a solution to so many problems that we face in our day to day lives. I believe that if more bosses took the time to invest in their staff and create standard operating procedures based on the 5 keys below, work places would become happier and far more productive. Just as homes and schools would be more peaceful and children will grow up self empowered with very powerful tools to make this world a better place.

The perfect place to start with effective communication and start making an immediate change today is to start with ourselves. We are not very kind communicators with ourselves in fact we are the harshest judge and critic in our own mind chatter. I see it as follows...

We are constantly lying to each other about what we are feeling and going through and then we ignore any signs or symptoms that we have a problem. We want to portray that every thing is always hunky dory. We are defensive and ego driven, with fear as the main driver. We find it so hard to ask for help or admit that things are tough. We have this facade that we must be strong at all times, everybody around you must think that you have got it together in every moment. Inside you are freaking out and then beating yourself up for not being stronger or fitter or healthier or richer or more skilled or more energetic. You name it and we will find a fault with ourselves, but we want the outside world to think that we are perfect. Do you even notice this about yourself? I have come to know that my relationship with myself is the foundation of all of my relationships. How I communicate with myself is the defining point of how I handle any situation that arises and it is the same for you. We are constantly communicating with ourselves. We have the voice in the head which is the judge and the critic and we somehow believe that it is in charge of our body and our life. The truth is that it is just the ego and only has power if we allow it to. We have a choice in every moment to choose how we can effectively communicate with ourselves.I love that!!! It means that we are in control and we have the power. Do we choose to acknowledge our accomplishments and strengths and therefore feel good about who we are or do we choose to tear ourselves apart because we are not measuring up to the totally unrealistic idea of perfection in our heads?These choices are our communication with self. It determines your self worth to yourself! How you treat yourself on ALL levels determines how deserving you feel you are. 

Did you know that you can change the way you talk to yourself and change the way you view the world or your place in it? Did you know that your self esteem and confidence is in your hands? Did you know that how you look and feel is all up to you? Did you know that your attitude towards yourself is all in how kind you choose to be with your self in every moment. How do you communicate with yourself? Check the list below and ask yourself if you communicate with yourself with CLARITY, RESPECT, UNDERSTANDING, SOLUTIONS and TRUST?

Five main effective communication keys are as follows:
  • clarity - objectives, clear, reasonable expectations
  • respect - feeling valued, important and accepted, a valuable part of a team
  • understanding - feeling understood, appreciated and valuable, compassionate and empathetic responses
  • solutions - compromise, win win, confidence, obtaining objectives
  • trust - feeling safe to be vulnerable, honest and open without fear, judgement or disapproval
If we could start being kind to ourselves we will start treating others with the same values and respect and we will only expect the same back for ourselves from others. "Be the change you wish to see in the world", change the world by changing yourself and how you treat yourself. 

With so much love